If you are curious about bringing more compassion into your life you have found the right place, a warm welcome and thank you for reading my blog
My Journey with Compassion
I have been developing compassionate skills and embodying compassionate ways of being for many years now and lots of wisdom has been developed through compassionate mind training, coaching and personal connections through the Compassionate Mind Foundation Community
I am a member of the foundation, and I have completed training courses, workshops and personal practices from Professor Paul Gilbert, the founder of the Compassionate Mind Foundation and his associates https://www.compassionatemind.co.uk/
Learning Through Experience
I would like to share with you here a few helpful reflections of things that have supported my learning over time. That might be helpful to demonstrate the way I have supported myself and others. This comes from many hours of sitting in discomfort and learning the hard lessons through life events and many hours of my own personal therapy
My younger self tried avoiding and pushing emotions and thoughts away because the anxiety I felt was so impactful, however this didn’t support my nervous system and brought more anxiety from within
The Challenge of Being Compassionate
Being compassionate isn’t easy especially when you have a loud self-critic part and experience heightened anxiety and feelings of despair because being human is so difficult at times. These parts of me, my self-critic and anxious- self were very predominant most of the time along my journey of compassionate mind training until I took compassionate action to develop and embody a more compassionate relationship with myself
I began to accept through my training we are all complex human beings trying to find our way. This can be especially challenging in times of distress and suffering in mind and body
Developing a Compassionate Relationship with Myself
Learning to trust my own internal voice and find compassionate ways of being has been such a lifeline. What really helps me is to remind myself, my intention is to try to always be helpful, not harmful in my choice of words and responses. The wise words I can align with now are it’s not my responsibility to take on other people’s perspectives of me and only focus on pleasing others. This would often have such a detrimental impact on my wellbeing causing psychological distress and feeling so out of balance emotionally.
What is Compassion?
So, what is a definition of compassion?
Professor Paul Gilbert defines Compassion as
Sensitivity to Distress Plus Motivation to Prevent & or alleviate it
From Paul Gilbert’s research and studies on evolution, he identified human beings as having tricky brains and reactive bodies and this isn’t our fault. However, we can choose to hold ourselves accountable and learn to take compassionate action to prevent or alleviate our own suffering
This discovery landed so well with me as such a hopeful reminder that I can find ways to support myself with compassion, being open to receiving compassion and offer it out to others who are ready to receive it, however without doing this too heavily I neglect my own needs
Growing Through Compassion
We all have capacity to learn how to be more curious about compassion and how beneficial this can be to our well-being
I had the privilege to be a case study for Dr Hayley Quinn; she has written her book From Self – Neglect to Self-Compassion which is full of inspiring ways to offer oneself more compassion. I explain some of my experiences of struggles in her book and how I learnt to be more compassionate to myself
I have attended many of Hayley’s coaching sessions, groups and listened to her Podcasts and have learnt so much through our conversations. Here is a link to her book.
From Self-Neglect to Self-Compassion – Dr Hayley Quinn
You can purchase her book through Amazon UK
An Invitation
I feel so passionate about sharing my compassionate wisdom with others and look forward to people reaching out to me who want to learn more for themselves. If you are interested,please do get in touch with an open ‘beginners Mind’ of curiosity and a willingness to make significant healthy changes to understand and respond to yourself and others more compassionately
Acknowledgements
A huge thanks go to the inspiring and highly valued compassionate leaders and facilitators who have taught me so much wisdom, Dr Chris Irons and Dr Shelley Kerr, Dr Hayley Quinn, Dr Elaine Beaumont, Dr Stan Steindl, Dr Kate Lucre, Dr Hannah Gilbert, Dr Wendy Wood, Dr Mary Welford, and the admin team within the The Compassionate Mind foundation.
Special thanks also go to Chris Winson from the #365daysofcompassion community who I have had the great pleasure learning compassion from. Being part of the compassionate mind community has felt such a safe and nurturing experience.
References
References to:
Dr Chris Irons and Dr Shelley Kerr – Our Team #1 – Balanced Minds – Compassion Focused Therapy
Clinical Psychologist | Dr Stan Steindl
Chris Winson https://youtu.be/1y_0Ng4-LbY?si=C3ZoQZf8DB66qaJj
